am I doing too much? (probably.)

Ever met someone overflowing with good ideas and business plans but never actually following through? Enter me. I’ve always been the type to get waves of inspiration—ideas, projects, and passions that come and go.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how important it is to have an outlet, a space to process these ideas before they slip away. For some, that’s therapy. For me, it’s writing since I can no longer afford therapy living in San Francisco.

Before moving to SF, I started a short film project. I wrote a script, recruited a crew—even paid someone (which felt like a big deal at the time; nothing says commitment like spending your hard-earned cash). But when I decided to move, I dropped the project.

And the thing is, I had already overcome so many challenges—rewriting the screenplay, convincing people to get on board despite my inexperience, and even losing a key team member who had first encouraged me to start. Still, I kept pushing forward. Onward and upward.

But after the move, life got busy, money got tight, and time slipped away. Eventually, enough time had passed that I felt deeply ashamed for not following through—or even reaching out to my crew. It all became too overwhelming, so I shut down and retreated.

And this isn’t an isolated incident. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve felt paralyzed by the weight of wanting to do something but not knowing how to execute it. It’s a pattern—one that’s followed me for as long as I can remember. Ever since I was a kid, I would always hear things like:

• "You never finish anything you start."

• "Can’t you just commit to one thing?"

• "What happened to that [insert current project, idea, passion] you were working on?"
  

And look, I get it—I haven’t always been the most consistent person. For years, I thought I was just lazy. But then, in January 2024, everything changed.

That was the month I was diagnosed with ADHD. At first, it didn’t make sense—I finished college, did well in school, and have held down a corporate job for three years. But after some research, I learned that women tend to mask their symptoms “better” than men, which is why so many of us don’t get diagnosed until later in life. Suddenly, so much clicked.

And let me tell you—Adderall is GREAT (if you have ADHD, of course). Disclaimer time: This is a strong drug that can be misused if you don’t actually have ADHD, so consult your medical professionals, y’all. Not everyone needs Adderall to focus.

But as life-changing as it’s been, it hasn’t magically solved everything. I still don’t know what I want to do with my career long-term. I don’t know if I’ll still be in San Francisco five years from now. I have so many passions I still want to explore. And I have this unfinished film—along with a graveyard of failed podcasts, YouTube channels, small business ideas, and (ironically) other blogs. RIP.

I’m hoping this blog will help me break the cycle. Or maybe it’ll just be another abandoned project in the pile. Who knows? But hey, at least we got two solid posts up. The Adderall was really hitting today. xx, yollamasita